where i’ve been and what’s next
It feels like ages since I last reached out through this newsletter. Time has a strange way of stretching when you’re lost in your own thoughts, doesn’t it?
It feels like ages since I last reached out through this newsletter. Time has a strange way of stretching when you’re lost in your own thoughts, doesn’t it?
The quiet between us has been thick, almost suffocating, like a heavy fog that wraps around your bones, making every step feel sluggish.
If you’ve been wondering where I disappeared to—if you’ve felt that silence, too—I’m here now, ready to cut through the haze and bring a bit of light back.
There’s a lot to unpack, so many moments that have shaped me since we last connected. The highs that had me floating, the lows that left me gasping for air, and all the gray areas in between that have painted the backdrop of my story.
Let’s take a deep breath together and dive in; I’ve missed this.
The Highs: Finishing the Book
A while back, it felt like I was perched on the summit of a mountain that had taken me forever to climb. The air up there was sharp, biting, tinged with the promise of something big. I was finally breathing it in after what felt like an eternity.
I’d just bled my soul dry writing Healing Thoughts: Quotes, Poems & Musings—every word meticulously chosen, each page a mirror reflecting my rawest truths. When I hit that final period, a jolt of pure adrenaline shot through me, like lightning, electrifying dreams of what might come next.
I saw it all so vividly.
Videos that would shake people awake, posts that would light a fire, campaigns spreading the message far and wide, landing right where they were needed most.
I was on fire, ready for something huge.
But then, reality crashed the party. Life—always the wild card—yanked me onto a detour I never saw coming. And just like that, the high started to slip away, leaving behind a shadow of doubt that clung like smoke.
The Lows: Hitting the Wall
As soon as I typed that final word, something shifted.
Not loud.
Not obvious.
But real, like the snap of a twig in the stillness of a forest.
I didn’t catch it at first—just a tiny nudge, the passing of a thought.
Maybe, just maybe, I was more worn out than I’d let myself believe.
Then it hit, and it hit hard, like a tidal wave slamming into me out of nowhere: I’d crashed into a wall I never even saw coming.
The thrill that had once pumped through my veins was draining fast. All that was left behind was this hollow, empty void. The passion I’d coddled, the one that kept me burning the midnight oil, vanished like a ghost.
Suddenly, my book felt annoying, like an unwelcomed guest staring back at me. The idea of promoting it, of putting myself out there was as daunting as scaling Everest barefoot.
Burnout.
We toss that word around so casually, but when it grabs you, it’s relentless.
A darkness creeping into your bones.
For me, it was this weight—this leaden heaviness that made even the simplest tasks feel like climbing a mountain. The work I once loved now filled me with this cold dread, a twist in my gut every time I even thought about it.
And the guilt gnawed at me, “You should be stronger than this.”
How could something I loved so much turn into this source of stress, frustration, and self-loathing? It was like the fire that once roared within me had been doused, leaving behind nothing but charred embers and the faint stench of smoke.
I wanted to stop. Just hit pause.
But the world doesn’t stop, and neither do the demands we heap on ourselves.
I was stuck, trapped in this vicious loop of guilt and exhaustion, unable to move forward but too damn stubborn to let go.
Rediscovering Passion: Substack Notes
In the middle of this crash, when everything felt like too much, I found myself clinging to something basic. Primitive, almost. Writing quotes.
Like my brain, buried under exhaustion, reached for a lifeline, a place where I could create without that heavy pressure crushing me. No need for plans, no thoughts of success or failure.
Just words.
Simple.
Raw.
One after the other.
Posting them on Substack Notes felt like tossing a message in a bottle into a bottomless sea—no clue if anyone would ever find it.
Then, out of nowhere, things shifted.
Those little quotes, born out of desperation, started catching eyes.
Slowly at first—a like here, a share there. But then the trickle turned steady. Comments, reactions, messages. People were connecting.
Somehow, in the middle of my fog, I was still reaching people. And each response was like a spark landing on dry kindling, catching just enough flame to remind me. To remind me that my voice still mattered, that my words could still land, still resonate.
That’s when it clicked.
The burnout had robbed me of my energy, sure, but not my core.
The heart of it—my love for writing, for connecting through words—was still there, waiting for me to notice. I didn’t need grand plans or huge projects.
I didn’t need to carry the weight of everything. Sometimes, all it takes is a handful of well-placed words to remind you why you started. To remind you of who you are.
A Revival: The Growing Newsletter
As the notes started catching on, something else began to bubble beneath the surface. Almost sneaky, like a shift you don’t notice until it’s right in your face.
That newsletter I’d stashed away, left to collect dust in some dark corner of my mind—yeah, it was stirring. New subscribers started trickling in, each one like a fresh green shoot breaking through after a long, cold winter.
I could feel it—Healing Thoughts wasn’t just sitting idle anymore.
The energy around it was shifting, first in a faint chatter, then in full-blown clarity. It was as if the universe was giving me a nudge, a little reminder that this journey isn’t some straight, boring line.
Growth zigzags. It loops. It surprises you.
And then it hit me, soft but sure. Sometimes, stepping back isn’t failure. It’s a pause, a deep breath before the next big leap.
The newsletter’s revival proved that even in the stillness, life doesn’t stop—it just shifts gears. It reminded me that healing, like creativity, has its own rhythm. It’s messy, unpredictable, and sometimes the most seismic shifts happen when you’re not even looking.
With this newfound buzz lighting me up, I felt it.
That pull.
That call to circle back to my roots—to this newsletter, to you.
You, the community that’s been here through every twist and turn, every stumble and climb. The idea of reconnecting felt like slipping into a cozy old sweater, like finding my way back to a trail I know like the back of my hand after wandering off-course.
So here I am, heart full, mind racing with ideas.
I’m back, and I’m here to stay. More fired up than ever to bring you content that doesn’t just inspire or lift you up, but also walks with you on your own healing path.
Together, we’ll keep growing, keep healing, keep diving into the chaos and beauty of this wild ride we call life.
Moving Forward: What to Expect
So, what’s next?
That question’s been bouncing around in my head, like an insistent nag that just won’t quit. I’ve been chewing on it, not just in terms of content but in a bigger, broader sense—what do I really want this space—our space—to become?
The answer hit me like a cool breeze: consistency, connection, depth.
Get ready for more of me, and more often.
No more drips of quotes here and there. I’m talking about a steady stream of updates, each one packed with intent, sprinkled with joy.
I’ll be dropping deeper reflections, the raw, unfiltered stuff I’ve been clutching tight, stories from my old journals that have been simmering, waiting for the right moment to come out.
And then there’s the new stuff.
I can feel it bubbling up, ideas flickering like tiny sparks, each one lighting up a different route. I’m itching to dive back into video content—something I’ve been tiptoeing around, but now…
Now I’m ready to jump in with a fresh sense of purpose.
There’s something electric about speaking directly to you, about letting my voice carry those layers of meaning that text alone can’t quite capture.
But let’s save that for later. Just know—it’s on the way, and I’m pumped to share what’s next.
But here’s the thing.
I also want to make a promise.
Not just to you, but to myself.
Burnout was a brutal teacher, but it hammered home a truth I won’t ignore: balance is everything. Moving forward, I’m all about quality, sure, but I’m also chasing the joy in creating.
This space will stay a refuge, a place where every word carries a thread of support, of understanding. I’ll be more deliberate, making sure each piece I bring to you is charged with the passion that got me started on this wild journey in the first place.
Because here’s the bottom line—it’s not just about what we create; it’s about feeling alive, connected, whole in the process of that creating.
And I want that for both of us.
Conclusion: An Invitation
I've said plenty today, and now, it’s your turn.
Have you ever find yourself where I’ve been? That heavy blanket of burnout smothering the joy right out of something you used to love?
How’d you claw your way back to that sweet spot—where balance and passion play nice again?
I really want to know.
There’s something reassuring about realizing we’re not out here struggling solo.
We learn. We grow. We lean on each other.
So, I’m asking—no, I’m urging you—to reach out.
Shoot back a reply to this email, drop a comment on social, or slide into my messages however you like. I’m all ears, ready to engage, and eager to reconnect.
This journey is not just mine. It’s ours.
Every word you share, every thought you send my way, tightens the bonds of this community. Makes us stronger. Together.
Thank you.
Seriously, from the bottom of my heart, for your patience, your unwavering support, and for sticking with me through this wild ride.
I don’t take any of it lightly.
Let’s keep growing, healing, thriving—drawing strength not just from our wins, but from the hurdles we jump along the way. This is just the start of a brand-new chapter, and I couldn’t be happier to have you right here with me as we write it.
—Ryan Puusaari
P.S. Your time and engagement with this edition mean a lot. Every reader adds value to our journey together. Thank you for being here!
P.S.S. "Sometimes, the path to finding yourself requires getting lost in the detours—because it’s in the unexpected pauses that we rediscover our true direction."
Stepping into yourself—bold move. Props to you for that.
But don’t kid yourself; this isn’t a one-and-done deal. It’s a relentless trek inward, and trust me, it never really stops, just shifts and twists with time.
And to give you a hand, here’s something I’m stoked about: the 365-Day Shadow Work Series. Think of it as your deep dive into self—no fluff, just real, raw reflection.
This series doesn’t play around.
It throws you into the thick of it, with pointed questions that push you through the muck of sadness, self-doubt, and grudges.
Every page, crafted to steer you, challenge you, and yeah, maybe even break you open a little. It’s not just a journal—it’s your new ritual in self-discovery.
Before You Go
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Have questions or thoughts? I am just an email away—reach out anytime.